hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
