For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
