Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think i have herpe
just one?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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