I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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