Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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