as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
