East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
