Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
