i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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