I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You need Xanax blowdarts
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
