he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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