I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
