Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
