I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
