So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
