I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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