I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
