Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize