Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
