hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
