If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
