I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
