Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
