worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
