Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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