You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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