we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
