dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
