I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
