This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
