Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
