he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
