My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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