i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
