im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
