(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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