The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
