During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
