4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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