She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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