yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
