we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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