this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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