Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
