Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Your penis caused this!
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