he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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