He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize