worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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