Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
