Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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