You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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