if you like me you must not know who I am
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
