I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
