i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
