I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
