I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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