I wish I could punch you in the face.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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