return my video game
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
